POP stands for Prince of Persia

Dear Ubisoft Montreal,

Firstly, let me start by saying that you rock mostly because of POP 2 and 3 (POP 1 glitched at the part by the staircase at 71% and I got like uber pissed off and threw stuff at the TV shouting "Dammit Farah just stand on the platform like the walkthrough says you must! Gosh ho! You make me want to claw out your innards, just listen to yourself! First you're like "are you on the platform?" and then me and the prince are like "yeah, jump on plate thing" and then nothing. So I make a ton of stink in the lounge while my family goes about their day. I lost a few years of my life that day just shouting. Why? Because I only had one saved game and had to go back to the beginning which I did last week and finished POP1 on Tuesday. Bugga).

Anyway, POP2 (which in my head is called POP and the Dahaka) is my best.

I'm at the end dude of POP3. He's bugga hard, but it's your fault Ubisoft. I want to do the running up the wall and stuff and stick Pa's sword in the Frazier but I can't see. Goodness. I can't see because all the sand stuff is like blowing all over the place and the moving rubble kills me because I got like one life upgrade in the whole game because you hid them like the tooth fairy.

It's unrealistic. Rubble can't float around in the sands of time. That defies gravity and we're talking time here. Different dimensions dudes. I just can't fall for the moving masonry that speeds up around the edges and the prince doesn't want to get up when the piece of building hits me, so I crawl onto the coffee table with the remote in my hand imploring the damn prince to obey my PS2 joystick manoeuvres. And what happens?! Another piece of building kills me.

And the Frazier dude. What is he even? He should've turned into an hour glass of doom or some kind of evil clock because he unleashed the sands of time, instead he looks like a stink bug. What is that?

Anyway, I'm writing this letter to ask you next time you make POP or any other wicked cul game, please don't waste five hours of my life telling me the game is over every time I die when I have no sand left. Seriously. It makes me so angry sometimes. Like the empress bitch kills me for the hundredth time and then I have to see it again for hundredth time "GAME OVER" in giant red. Yeah, I get it, I'm dead and I know you get some sick pleasure out of the pain that makes me die inside every time I shout at the screen going "No! No! No!" and then "G-A-M-E-O-V-E-R for five hours. That reminds me, in the third one also please next time just let me skip the videos if I've seen them and I die. That wastes like even more of my time, which is actually my client's time because I should be working. So my clients are quite upset with you. Just let me win and I'll get back to work. I can't let the game beat me.

Like those two sand creatures that I have to kill in the ring of fire, I had to watch that video like 16 times. That one was a pain in my ass because up until that time I'm using this tiny dagger. What's with the lack of cool weaponry dudes? The second one wins because of all the life upgrades and traveling in time and the Dahaka bit. Fhew, that was wicked.

Anyway, reply to this.

PS I'm like your 16th biggest fan.

PSS I had a grotesque stomach illness yesterday so spent the whole day playing POP3 which is actually POP Two Thrones or something.

PSSS I'm still a kid inside, but I'm also cool with grown up people, so please still read my blog.

PSSSS If you want to hire me as a game player dude who tells you how to fix the games I will do it. But only if you give me a PS3 and some games. Seriously. Seriously seriously.