I'm best friends with a four-year old.

So Madison has been spending a lot of time with her uncle/second cousin/ mentor JL, mostly because like a loser when my friends are all "hey there's this thing we should go to because it's fun and Friday night" I go "I have to study". So Mad interprets this to mean 'he loves me because he stayed at home so we can make pesto and drink juice and watch not-scary movies', so instead of studying OR going out with my friends I make pesto and drink juice and watch not-scary movies with my four-year old second cousin/ niece/protègè.

I think all the attention has gone to her head. You know how it starts off all cute with her cuddling next to me after supper on the couch until she falls asleep and her sitting next to me while I play piano waiting anxiously to touch a key when I finish or walking in while I'm in the shower which makes me go "OMG! Get out! GET OUT!" like Boromir in the first one while she says "daddy also has one of those". Ah the joys of childhood.

Now she thinks we're peers. Equals even. Today she comes to the flat and sees me put on deodorant like I do sometimes and was like "I want some".

JL: No, you can't have.

Mad: Why?

JL: A little because you don't want to smell like a boy. But mostly because you're four.

Mad: No! You're four!

JL: No Mad. I'm 23.

Mad: No you're not! YOU'RE FOUR!

JL: Well then I'm the biggest ass four year old you'll ever see.

Mad: What's ass?

JL: Uh. I didn't say that.

Mad: JL said ASS!

JL: No Madison, don't say that word! I uh, didn't say anything. I said bass. Like the fish.

Mad: You said ass!

JL: It's a donkey. Let's pretend we weren't talking and see who can forget the quickest.

Mad: JL said ass! JL said ass!

JL: Ooh, look the piano! Don't you wana play?

Mad: Yes!

JL: *sigh* Ok good, let's play together.

Mad: *to the theme of Jurassic Park* JL said ass! JL said ass!